Congratulations to Nadahnefu, Queen of de Nile, who placed fourth (tied for 2nd highest score) at the O. Henry Pun-Off May 20, 2006.
Click here for a transcript of her "Punniest of Show" entry.
Click here to hear the actual recording (http://odeo.com/audio/1271824/view).
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Nadahnefu is the famous Ancient Queen of Egypt---I mean, Queen of Ancient Egypt, who periodically travels to the present via a portal in the space-time continuum. She's the featured dancer for the April, 2005 edition of the Austin Bellydance Association newsletter, OPA! (Click here to read the text of that article.)
You may have noticed the family resemblance between Nadahnefu and TYPSY GYPSY Denisea, who is Nadahnefu's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great (45 times) granddaughter. Nadahnefu, on the other hand, is Denisea's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great (46 times) grandmother, because nobody is greater than Nadahnefu, not even Denisea.
Thanks to her third (and fourth) eye (that's why the pet snake on her head piece is named "Isis"––"cuz she goddess two isis"), Nadahnefu demonstrates a great deal of psychic ability. For example, she often knows when her audience members are just dying for another one of her fascinating stories. Some of the stories involve past and future loves in her life, or her pet crocodillo named Fido, or her pet snake named Isis, or one of her many indespensible inventions. Nadahnefu is famous for her inventions. She invented "Rocks Sharkie," what has become known today as "Raks Sharqi" or bellydance. (She also invented "Crocodile Rock.") And, thanks to the logistics and improbabilities of time travel, she also invented the microphone, the CD player, stage lighting, and a number of other very useful things, including the Nile River itself!
Nadahnefu is well loved and well respected by her "pipples," as she calls her subjects. In fact, her rule is characterized by a level of peace and prosperity that has never since been equaled, interrupted only occassionally by periodic conflicts with the Ancient Assyrians, which she calls the"Pennin d'Assyrians."
Nadahenfu's relationship with an African ambassador named "George" inspired Cleopatra's later relationship with Julius Caesar (although Nadahnefu admits that "Cleo was on her own with that Tony guy"). In fact, Nadahnefu's relationships have inspired many songs, poems, and stories throughout history.
The "Queen of da Nile" comes from a rather large family of thirteen "scissors" (including the poor twins Nadahlottacash and Nadahlottamoolah) and one "buddha" named "Eezanefu" (pronounced "I'zanefu" by her brother when he talks about himself). She shares an especially close relationship with her brother "Eezy" (as Nadahnefu calls him), difficult for outsiders to understand. Nadahnefu's brother also happens to be her identical twin. Being the first-born, Nadahnefu inherited the rule of Ancient Egypt when her father retired. Should anything happen to Nadahnefu, Eezanefu will inherit custody of Nadahnefu's son, George Junior, and rule Ancient Egypt until George Junior comes of age –– or longer, should something befall George Junior, too.
Nadahnefu has come to be known as the "Transportation Queen," and is fond of driving around her kingdom in a "peenq kahd'lac" (rose-colored chariot). She implemented a system of roadways in Ancient Egypt, such that all roads (mostly one-way) led to her palace in F'un-ki-taun. She invented the expression "All roads lead to home," which the Romans later stole and adapted to suit their needs. Her palace is an archetectural feat, built in proportion to Nadahnefu's own measurements of 36-24-36, and giving rise to the expression we still have today of referring to a well-proportioned woman as one who is "built."
Despite all her other numerous accomplishments, the main contribution to modern civilization of "Nady," or "Naughty" as she's sometimes called, has been to serve as a role model for queens and bellydancers everywhere. She feels it's important to set a standard of perfection for others to look to, even if they can never achieve it. In her own words, she not only "out-nef's Nefertiti," she also "out-cleo's Cleopatra, and especially out-teats Tatateeta."
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